Pointless

Scrolling through the memories
I hate the feelings
I get when I look back
In regret
How much things have changed
It's ridiculous but I didn't even realise
Listening to all those wise words
From all the people I idolise

Sometimes hurt turns into anger
All them good memories
Blurred by the bad ones
Remembering how much of a cunt
I really was
That's what hurts the most
Come so far but yet so close
You did the right thing I can't deny it
And I know you meant no harm by it
It's just never been the same since
All them people I tried to convince
I'm fine really I am
Never really admitted to myself I wasn't
And that's what kills you inside

The way it ended was painful
And I guess I was to blame
For it being way too shameful
Let myself down and all the people surrounding me
My good intentions were forever
Being let down by bad execution
We walked along the same path
Together yesterday
But today I stand alone
Stuck in this never ending evil cyclone
Without having a reason
To pick up my phone

Crowded streets and empty faces
Looking through the same old places
Of you and us there are no traces
Where did it all go wrong

We used to laugh about the future
Lived the nights without a care
Always together we had a deal
And it was just too fair
That city job took you away
Never saw you night or day
You never seem to want to stay

What more can I say to you
There's nothing we could say or do
Like I said, it ain't been the same
Since the day it was through

I wandered around this dirty town
Of grey and rotting streets
Couldn't find any peace of mind
I'm just so broke and I don't know why
Trying to make sense out of it all
Every time I get up back I fall
Put my life on the line
Just for you to shine
Be positive just gonna carry on
Even though I'm just on a
Never ending impossible mission
Blinded by a stupid decision

How would you feel
If you knew whatever you tried
Whatever you did was never good enough
Yeah let's face it I'm just so useless
Constantly reminded everyday
The struggle of the entire journey
Now your really taking the piss
With your morherfucking attorney
Excuse the explicits
But it just had to be said and done
Your partner in crime
Your assistant

We used to laugh about the future
Lived the nights without a care
Always together we had a deal
And it was just too fair
That city job took you away
Never saw you night or day
You never seem to want to stay

What more can I say to you
There's nothing we could say or do
Like I said, it ain't been the same
Since the day it was through

I know it's not your fault
But now it's hard for me to fall
Scared of the consequence
But then again fuck it or I'll regret it
Wait that sounded arrogant
Another one of my useless misfits
Pretty extreme crimes to commit
I must admit

It seems to perfect
On the other hand
I'm jumping to conclusions
Just to add to the whole confusion
The mixed messages
Gotta weigh up the advantages
From the disadvantages
Socially selective to avoid conflict
Yet again so dangerous
Cos it could always end in constrict

Learnt from that
Just by looking back
Just from looking back

That's what hurts the most
Come so far but yet so close
You did the right thing I can't deny it
And I know you meant no harm by it
It's just never been the same since
All them people I tried to convince
I'm fine really I am
Never really admitted to myself I wasn't
And that's what kills you inside